His Needs, Her Needs

After 15 years, Harley's work is as profound now as it was when first published. Harley has revised his book in various places, updating it based upon lessons learned since the previous edition and making it applicable to marital challenges of the 21st century. His concepts are powerful and practical. While written by a conservative Christian author, these principles are applicable to persons regardless of their religious background.
Harley's approach to "affair-proofing" a marriage centers on a concept he labels "the love bank." Every husband and wife has a love bank that encounters both deposits and withdrawals from the opposite sex. A crucial distinction is made, however, in that deposits and withdrawals are made differently with men than they are with women. These differences are based upon the ten most felt needs of a relationship with the opposite gender. Husbands, in general, place the highest importance on the following five needs: sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration. Wives, in general, place the highest importance on the following five needs: affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family commitment. Both genders express need for all ten items, but typically husbands and wives have contrasting priorities.

According to Harley, when an individual meets one or more of the partner's greatest felt needs, deposits are made into the partner's love bank. When one or more needs are not met, withdrawals are made from the partner's love bank. An affair occurs when a spouse finds fulfillment for a strongly felt need elsewhere because it is not being met satisfactorily within the marriage.

Harley's love bank concept is the centerpiece of his best-selling work. While his list of felt needs may not apply precisely to every man and woman, he does present a very accurate picture for most men and women in our society today. He concludes his book with giving tips on surviving an affair, and offering hope to couples struggling with a sense of incompatibility.
Apparently, people can read this book and miss Harley's statements that although the needs presented as "women's needs" are typical of women, and the needs presented as "mens needs" are typical of men, EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT, so you should fill out the questionaire at the end of the book and figure out how this applies to you. Most people have at least one need that is "typical" of the other sex. My wife and I are pretty far from typical, so it probably helped that we took the questionaire BEFORE reading the book. I admit that the stereotypical way the needs are described is irritating.

I also agree that it can be read in a way that puts your spouse where God should be in your life. I don't think that is what the author says or means. I think looking at it as: "In a typical marriage we are to be God's method of providing for our spouse's emotional needs", comes pretty close to the truth. This book provides most of the tools needed to identify and meet those needs, and I can personally attest to the improvements that makes in a marriage.

To suggest, as one reviewer here does, that our spouses need to learn to accept the type of love that we have to give, rather than for us to learn to love them in the way they understand, is so wrong-headed that I cannot believe it. That seems to me to be demanding that our spouse change for us, rather than demanding of ourselves that we change for our spouse, which is a recipe for divorce...

First Family

The niece of the First Lady is kidnapped, and the little girl's mother is killed during the crime. At the request of the First Lady, PIs Sean King and Michelle Maxwell take on the case due to King's prior involvement with the First Family and his and Maxwell's ability to work outside the system. As they dig ever deeper into the case, things aren't what they at first seemed, and the investigation starts uncovering overtones of malfeasance in high places.

Baldacci returns to his roots, and the themes he explored so successfully in novels such as "Absolute Power". King and Maxwell are compelling, multi-faceted and captivating characters, much more so - in my opinion - than the overly cutesy Camel Club.

Further, the "bad guy" in this piece is also a fully realized human being; chillingly but understandably portrayed.

The actual key plot point is actually pretty easy to figure out from about halfway through the book; one of the reasons I didn't give it the fifth star. Further, I simply don't think Baldacci has yet managed to recapture the full depth and scope of his earliest works that brought him to prominence.

But for a light and escapist book to take to the beach or pool, this would be a good choice.

Turn Coat by Jim Butcher

The search for a traitor in the highest circles of power forms the main plot thread of Butcher's 11th hard-boiled fantasy novel featuring Chicago's wizard detective Harry Dresden (last seen in 2008's Small Favor). Harry, a warden of the magic-governing White Council, finds himself in an unusual position when Morgan, his fellow warden and frequent antagonist, asks for his help. One of the White Council's leaders has been murdered, and Morgan was found at the scene of the crime holding the murder weapon. If he has been framed, then another senior wizard is behind the killing and may be trying to destroy the council entirely. Aided by werewolf and vampire allies, Dresden investigates with his trademark sardonic noir flair. Despite the sprawling plot, both fans and newcomers will get into the fast-paced action.
Butcher’s series star, wizard detective Harry Dresden, has been facing ever more varied and dangerous trials. Once just Chicago’s only wizard PI, Harry is now a warden of the White Council of Wizards—that is, one of the enforcers of its rules—and it seems as though every time he gets a better grasp on his magical strength, his enemies worsen. When the “parole officer” of Harry’s youth, Morgan, grievously injured and pursued by the wardens, comes to Harry for help, it’s the opening salvo of serious confrontation with the council. Morgan stands accused of killing senior council member LaFortier. The murder was certainly an inside job, and time is short to find the real killer before Morgan is summarily executed. Simultaneously, something unbelievably horrible and by all accounts far too powerful to take on alone is stalking Dresden. Searching for the killer, Harry’s caught up in a plot leading to the White Court vampires and the very halls of the White Council. Meanwhile, his dog’s daily duty is keeping Harry’s apprentice and Morgan from one another’s throats. Fortunately, Harry’s sense of humor lightens the tone of even the most serious confrontation, so though Butcher has turned up the tension here, this is an amusing, satisfying, and action-packed addition to the Dresden Files.

Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto

Conservative talk radio's fastest-growing superstar is also a New York Times bestselling phenomenon: the author of the groundbreaking critique of the Supreme Court, Men in Black, and the deeply personal dog lover's memoir Rescuing Sprite, Mark R. Levin now delivers the book that characterizes both his devotion to his more than 5 million listeners and his love of our country and the legacy of our Founding Fathers: Liberty and Tyranny is Mark R. Levin's clarion call to conservative America, a new manifesto for the conservative movement for the 21st century.In the face of the modern liberal assault on Constitution-based values, an attack that has steadily snowballed since President Roosevelt's New Deal of the 1930s and resulted in a federal government that is a massive, unaccountable conglomerate, the time for re-enforcing the intellectual and practical case for conservatism is now. Conservative beliefs in individual freedoms do in the end stand for liberty for all Americans, while liberal dictates lead to the breakdown of civilized society -- in short, tyranny. Looking back to look to the future, Levin writes "conservatism is the antidote to tyranny precisely because its principles are our founding principles." And in a series of powerful essays, Levin lays out how conservatives can counter the liberal corrosion that has filtered into every timely issue affecting our daily lives, from the economy to health care, global warming, immigration, and more -- and illustrates how change, as seen through the conservative lens, is always prudent, and always an enhancement to individual freedom.As provocative, well-reasoned, robust, and informed as his on-air commentary, Levin's narrative will galvanize readers to begin a new era in conservative thinking and action. Liberty and Tyranny provides a philosophical, historical, and practical framework for revitalizing the conservative vision and ensuring the preservation of American society.

About the Author

Mark R. Levin is a nationally syndicated talk radio host and president of Landmark Legal Foundation. He has also worked as an attorney in the private sector and as a top adviser and administrator to several members of President Reagan's cabinet. The author of the New York Times bestselling books Rescuing Sprite and Men in Black: How the Supreme Court Is Destroying America, Mark holds a B.A. from Temple University and a J.D. from Temple University School of Law.