For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men
I am a bookstore junkie, big time, and one of my absolute favorite bookstores is LifeWay. While I was browsing one day about a month ago, I came across this book in the new release section. Having already read a fiction book by Shaunti Feldhahn, I picked up this non-fiction book even though I thought the cover was rather lame (also, Beth Moore's favorable quote on the cover got my attention). I started reading and by the time I had scanned (in depth) the first 3 chapters, I knew I was on to something important. My wife is not as "into" these types of books as I am, so I chose to run it by her first. I waited a couple of days until the moment seemed right to bring up the topic, and asked her if she wouldn't mind if I gave her the book (I explained it briefly) - she said she wouldn't mind at all. So I bought it the next day and gave it to her that night. My wife is a processor, luckily for me, and she is reading a chapter every few days and then letting that one soak in. If you should choose to read this book, I would urge you to take your time reading it. Each chapter goes into depth in a particular area concerning men, but does so in a way that is not bogged down in psych tech-speak. At a point about 4 chapters in, she asked me to read the book and decide which chapters fit me more than others - she wanted me to, in essence, rank the chapters. She had a tough time wording how she was feeling as she read more and more of the book, but what I gather is that she is genuinely taken aback by what the author has found out about men, and possibly even having a little trouble processing all the information, some of which, no doubt, is new to her, or if not new, I dare say she had no idea as to the depth.
After reading the book myself, this is what I want to say to you, the wives. There is no chapter in this book that doesn't hit home and thus felicitously apply to what I believe would be a normal man, and by normal, I mean most of us. Much of what is contained in this book is of a deeply personal nature - stuff that some of us men would feel (to varying degrees) uncomfortable talking about with our wives. Just let me try to say what most if not all of husbands would say to their wives if asked by their wives about the content of this book.
* "Yes, the contents of the book are true, even though it may be alarming (maybe even shocking) to you."
* "It's possible that some chapters may apply more than others, but trust me, the entirety of this book is dead on target, with all chapters applying to the makeup of who I am."
* "Sometimes I wish God had not `hard-wired' me to be like this, but I know with total certainty that I am created in the image of God - I am created exactly the way God intended, thus, in retrospect, 100% of the time, after consideration, I am very glad God created me like this."
* "Likewise, though you are indeed so often a puzzle to me, I am equally glad God created you to be mysterious to me, because it's more often a wonderful mystery than a frustrating mystery."
* "Please be cautious how you talk to me about this book. Remember, much of the content is of a delicate nature, if it wasn't, I would have already talked to you about the subject matter of each chapter."
* "If you ever find a book that is similar to this one, but written for men, please buy it for me and give it to me right away. I am always looking for ways to be a better husband to you."
I truly feel that the author has written this book in a way to be as far from preachy as I can imagine. I suspect that you will feel her surprise with her as she was gathering the survey and interview results and other enlightening material for this book. Here is a woman who loves her husband deeply, but married life is, of course, not without frustration. Perhaps, she was mystified by her husband one too many times, and, putting on her investigative hat, decided to go to a fount of results - the opinions of about four hundred men. She got answers, and those answers just may increase your understanding of men and strengthen your marriage to a level you thought not possible. Highly recommended to any wife who loves her husband.
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